RECLAIMING WHAT'S MINE

msgloriayang
Dec 27, 2018
2 min read

Updated: Dec 27, 2018

After a decade....

I am taking back my power that I lost in loving people who didn't love me and giving it to the person who deserves it the most: me.

I am taking back the long years of hard labor that I invested in others and using it to better myself.

I am taking back the silence on my self-identity, past, and experiences and owning up to it loud and proud.

Truth is, I have been in and out of relationships since I was 14. I was searching for love and acceptance to fulfill what I wasn't getting from my family. I longed for connection and human interaction that I lacked from years of isolation I experienced as a child. I let years of trauma get the best of me and I became the very person I despised the most: spiteful, angry, and hateful.

I realize now that I only lost myself even more by obsessing over these unanswered questions. However, it's time now. It's time to finally let it all go, even if it means saying goodbye to a world that has been so much a part of me as my hands and feet have been.

I decided to take a vow of abstinence until I am 110% ready.

I don't know what the future holds, but what I do know is I am solely focused on these things:

Building a strong relationship with myself
Reconnecting with the years I've lost
Getting to know who she, Gloria Yang, is all over again
Taking myself on dates
Pampering myself whether it's a manicure and pedicure or a fitness class
Nourishing myself from within by eating better and practicing sobriety
Loving myself sexually, emotionally, physically, mentally, and even spiritually
Taking time away as needed
Saying no without feeling guilty

And finally, channeling my energy on things that make me happy.

As for 2018, you were truly a pain in the ass but I have to thank you, applaud you, and love you for reminding me just exactly who I am. I would do it all over again if I could because you have made me a fighter. You proved that I can find a way out of hell and not only start over but come back BIGGER and BETTER. You let me know that I do DESERVE the best and I am WORTHY of love.

Most importantly.... you helped me find the love of my life, the person I will be spending the rest of my life with. She is no one other than myself.

And I couldn't be any happier than to ring in the new year with me, myself, and I.